Does your toddler hits and tries to byte you every time you don't agree to his/her opinions or demands?
Friday, August 7, 2020
Friday, June 12, 2020
Sleep through the night(STTN)
I am a parent who did not sleep train my kid and she is now about 2.5 years and still doesn't STTN. Some nights are better than the other- where she only wakes up twice or thrice. YES!
Tuesday, June 2, 2020
Terrible Two's
When Kyna was about 18 months old, I had my friends talk about terrible twos. I always used to wonder why do they call it terrible two- but Oh Gosh!! now that she is 2.5 I totally get it. I see why is this age called terrible two, it's not the kid who is terrible it's the age.
Kyna would patiently repeat what she is trying to say at max 3 times and then there begins the frustration. To handle the upcoming frustration, if me or my husband do not get what she is saying- we just get the other person's to help understand on her 2nd try because after 3rd one she is going to make it harder. Now that she is able to connect more words, we try to ask her what do we do with that word. Or if nothing works, distract her! After few minutes if she wants the same thing, she will have little more patience and be able to explain.
They think they are amazing communicators and they have the best vocabulary and it frustrates them if you don't get it.
Kyna would patiently repeat what she is trying to say at max 3 times and then there begins the frustration. To handle the upcoming frustration, if me or my husband do not get what she is saying- we just get the other person's to help understand on her 2nd try because after 3rd one she is going to make it harder. Now that she is able to connect more words, we try to ask her what do we do with that word. Or if nothing works, distract her! After few minutes if she wants the same thing, she will have little more patience and be able to explain.
They think they are amazing communicators and they have the best vocabulary and it frustrates them if you don't get it.
Unhappy because we asked her to have her dinner
Opinions & Tantrums
Before I had a kid, when in shopping malls I would see kids lying on the floor and parents standing by I used to feel bad for the kid. But now, I feel bad for both. I know what parent is going through and what kids feel. Both trying to help each other but unable to negotiate. What is the right thing to do when these little munchkins start to throw tantrums like these?Honestly, best thing to do is give them some space and they will understand this move isn't going to work. Parents emotions are way more aggravated than toddlers, for them it is just a ploy to get their demands fulfilled. For us parents, we are doing a terrible thing by letting our child cry.
Even though best way will depend parent to parent, I will speak to what I have experienced and have seen it working. I would let her cry for couple of minutes and if she is still crying I would hold her and let her know she needs to ask gently and not by screaming or shouting. Most of the times she gets it in other few screams. First few times will be hard but then they understand what's working and what's not.
It does hurt to see them cry, but you are not doing anything wrong by letting them do so. In fact, you are making them understand that this behavior will not let them succeed instead if they calm down and ask gently they will achieve what they want or something closer.
Sometimes, out of frustrations toddlers will try to hit. If they try that, do not hit back. Try to gently block their hands or get away so they don't reach you. If they are able to hit a person, try to console the person or repeat words like Are you ok? did you get hurt? This will make child understand something bad happened. You can also try to give timeouts but it is important to give affection and explain to child that they did wrong and that is why they got a timeout.
Before I had a kid, when in shopping malls I would see kids lying on the floor and parents standing by I used to feel bad for the kid. But now, I feel bad for both. I know what parent is going through and what kids feel. Both trying to help each other but unable to negotiate. What is the right thing to do when these little munchkins start to throw tantrums like these?Honestly, best thing to do is give them some space and they will understand this move isn't going to work. Parents emotions are way more aggravated than toddlers, for them it is just a ploy to get their demands fulfilled. For us parents, we are doing a terrible thing by letting our child cry.
Even though best way will depend parent to parent, I will speak to what I have experienced and have seen it working. I would let her cry for couple of minutes and if she is still crying I would hold her and let her know she needs to ask gently and not by screaming or shouting. Most of the times she gets it in other few screams. First few times will be hard but then they understand what's working and what's not.
It does hurt to see them cry, but you are not doing anything wrong by letting them do so. In fact, you are making them understand that this behavior will not let them succeed instead if they calm down and ask gently they will achieve what they want or something closer.
Sometimes, out of frustrations toddlers will try to hit. If they try that, do not hit back. Try to gently block their hands or get away so they don't reach you. If they are able to hit a person, try to console the person or repeat words like Are you ok? did you get hurt? This will make child understand something bad happened. You can also try to give timeouts but it is important to give affection and explain to child that they did wrong and that is why they got a timeout.
Set your limits-
Toddlers of this age start to have their opinions and they are learning new things and skills everyday. They are going to test your limits each day. Do not give in. Set your limits and use repetitive words to explain how they cannot do it or get what they want and why. If you give in one time out of love, believe me you are making the journey tougher as next time will be a harder discussion.
Toddlers of this age start to have their opinions and they are learning new things and skills everyday. They are going to test your limits each day. Do not give in. Set your limits and use repetitive words to explain how they cannot do it or get what they want and why. If you give in one time out of love, believe me you are making the journey tougher as next time will be a harder discussion.
Ask Doctor:
I would always talk to Kyna's pediatrician about any concerns I have even though they are not always related to medical questions. If you feel it is going out of hands believe your instincts- that always help. After all they can provide you the best advice in terms of behavioral issues and they know what would hurt child's psychology in long term.
I would always talk to Kyna's pediatrician about any concerns I have even though they are not always related to medical questions. If you feel it is going out of hands believe your instincts- that always help. After all they can provide you the best advice in terms of behavioral issues and they know what would hurt child's psychology in long term.
Sharing her happy picture as most of the time she is playful and cheerful :)
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